Divorcing parents are meant to keep what would be best for their child at the forefront of their minds when making decisions. Yet it’s clear that some find this difficult.
The following tips may help if your ex is one of those people who cannot manage to put your children’s best interests above their anger toward you or their need to make you feel bad.
1. Don’t make it worse by stooping to their level
It can become easy to get drawn into arguments and tit-for-tats if your ex likes to antagonize you, or is just plain unreasonable. Maintaining dignity in your interactions with them is important for you and your child.
2. Accept you can’t change them
Maybe your ex has behaved poorly toward you for a long time. Or perhaps it started when you told them you wanted a divorce. Accept you cannot make them change – they need to do that themselves and may not be ready to yet. Realizing this can help reduce the frustration you may feel and avoid wasting energy on a battle you cannot win.
3. Remove yourself from the situation if necessary
If your ex acts inappropriately, walk away and continue the conversation another time. If they do this a lot, reduce face-to-face contact. You could communicate via email or a parenting app, instead. You could also have someone take your place at handovers and other events where you would otherwise see your ex face-to-face.
4. Document their behavior
Sometimes it is necessary to seek a court’s intervention when a co-parent is particularly difficult. Having records of your previous interactions can help strengthen your case — and so can the appropriate legal guidance.
