When marital tensions are rising, a lot of folks try to set things right again by taking a small (maybe romantic) vacation with their spouse.
They may hope to rekindle their old passions, spend some time talking through their recent troubles and look for compromises or solutions or just hope that a break from the stress of daily life will be enough to turn things around.
You don’t want to count on summer vacation to work any magic on your fractured marriage, however. There’s a noticeable spike in new divorces every year right at the end of vacation season.
A vacation may do nothing at all to resolve your marital strife, or it may make it worse
There are several different ways that vacations can exacerbate marital problems. Consider these:
- The retreat from daily life may be nice, but it also can create an illusion that everything is really fine in the marriage simply because both parties are relaxed. Once they return to their regular life, all the old tensions and problems re-surface – still unresolved.
- You may be the only party invested in improving the marriage. That often doesn’t occur to people who go into their romantic retreats assuming that their spouse is still willing to work on the relationship. That reality can sometimes become crystal-clear and be devastating emotionally.
- Your spouse may simply be humoring you until they have a few more “ducks in a row” regarding their plans for the divorce they’ve already decided must happen. They may pay lip service to the idea of a reconciliation while quietly moving forward with their plans.
Whatever your specific situation may be, it’s worth preparing yourself for the possibility that a vacation isn’t enough to help your marriage survive – and divorce may be inevitable. Learning more about the process and your rights can help you be prepared, just in case.
